If Patience is a virtue- I weep for the human race

On Christmas Eve I was working the late shift at Vue cinema. One would assume people wouldn't want to go to the cinema on Christmas Eve, right? Wrong. It was one of the busiest shifts I ever did take. There is a myth surrounding cinema staff that they do nothing- couldn't be farther from the truth! It looks like just ripping tickets- but there's so much more to do, especially if you're closing up. The particular event I wish to talk about to all you lovely folk out there reading this is as follows- its 8 O'clock. We have had approximately 20 minutes to collect 250 3D glasses, have them cleaned and brought back, clear the screen- 250 people make a lot of mess- and this is just for Avatar; Alvin 2 will be showing at the same time, not as much to clean up, but with the Avatar audience queuing up and growing impatient (because as we all know if you're not in the screen at least a half hour before the movie- its just not good enough- morons!) its a pretty stressful situation.

At this point in time I'd only been working at the cinema for a couple of weeks- and I've been left alone on gate with nothing to help me but my faithful radio. When I finally get the OK that screen 1 is ready, I start letting in the Avatar audience. Here's the routine: take ticket. "okay, two for the 8 O'clock showing of Avatar? That's in screen 1 just on your left here- you'll be in row F seats 19 and 20..." pick up glasses. "Here's your 3D glasses, Enj-" but, of course this is after 6 O'clock, so we offer free parking and this audience member wants their ticket now. "Of course, sir. There you go, enjoy the film." simple right? Well you just have to repeat this for another 248 people within five minutes.

However- it isn't Avatar I'm here to complain about- its Alvin 2.

I know, right? It's 8 O'Clock the night before Christmas- why are parents choosing now to take their six year old kiddies to the cinema? Personally, I'd be inclined to send them to bed early- with them safe in the knowledge that Santa only comes to the houses of kids who behave and go to sleep. There are at least a hundred people waiting for Alvin- and their screen isn't ready yet. So I ask them to wait, and tell them I will inform them when their screen is available. All this time I'm still letting in Avatar audiences- remember the mantra? Twenty seconds later- the same angry dad lets me know he's not happy- of course I'm very sympathetic to his cause- I repeat what I told him before, that I will let him know when the screen is ready. He's less than a metre away from me- surely he can get that he'll be the first to know. Between Avatar people I get on my radio quickly- "Do we know how long screen 5 will be?"- 'just another couple of minutes'- "Thank you".

I relay this message to the Angry Alvin Dad and continue letting in Avatar. I manage to let five more people in before- hey look who's now shouting at me (at me! who could shout at me? I'm tiny and cute!) you've guessed it, AAD again. He orders me to get on my radio and find out when the screen will be ready. "Just give me a couple of seconds, sir- two for avatar, you're in screen one row B seats 1 and 2- here's your glasses, enjoy your film-" Pick up radio. "Hi, do we have an eta on screen 5?"- 'Just on the last row' - "Thank you- sir, it'll only be a minute." There are still numerous Avatar people to let in, and they're all being very amicable, even after waiting in queue for twenty minutes. Whilst I'm letting in Avatar, the AAD is still glaring at me (this is in front of his two small children, nice example daddy is setting, don't you think?) I'm even getting sympathetic looks from the Avatars. Finally the radio springs to life again- "screen 5 is ready". I immediately send my dearest thanks to the lord- before announcing that Alvin audiences should queue up- then its a case of funnelling everyone through- Alvin group, Avatar group, Alvin group, Avatar group- you get the picture.

After this, it all goes smoothly- and I have a little time to relax before I do my screen checks and clean screen 8, which has just come out. Guess what AAD then did. He complained about me to the manager. No lie- apparently I was rude to him, I didn't bother to check with anyone about his screen. However, here's the twist- the manager he complained to was the very person who had been cleaning screen 5- with whom I'd checked with twice with him in front of me, and who knew I'd asked for someone to clean screen 5 whilst they were still cleaning screen 1 for Avatar. I'll never know why the AAD decided he didn't like me, maybe he was having some problems in his personal life and he needed an outlet, in any case- I got on with my job, and was more than happy with how I had handled him.

But, I just want to make a plea- on behalf of all the underpaid cinema workers- please be patient with them, they are just doing their jobs!



Written badly by Naomi Wong